Quick Shifts

Each week I bring you the top stories in the auto industry along with my commentary or sometimes amusing thoughts about the craziness that goes on in the world of cars.   

Stories you’ll find today:

• EV Sales Not Hot? Ship Fire Offers Literal Fire Sale — But Nobody’s Buying! 
• Maryland Teen Breaks Into 121 Cars in a Night—Setting a Record Nobody Wanted
• Eleanor Mustang Finally Freed: Court Rules She’s Just a Car, Not a Copyright Character
• Driver's Fast & Explosive Adventure Ends with a Dud – and Handcuffs

EV Sales Not Hot? Ship Fire Offers Literal Fire Sale — But Nobody’s Buying!  The ship Morning Midas set sail across the Pacific, loaded with around 3,000 vehicles, including 800 electric cars that were supposed to be a shining example of the EV revolution. But as it turned out, those electric dreams came with an unexpected, somewhat pyromaniacal twist. Somewhere off the coast of Alaska, about 300 miles southwest of Adak Island, the crew detected smoke wafting from the EV cargo deck—never a good sign unless you’re trying to win a barbecue competition. So, in classic maritime fashion, they activated the ship’s carbon dioxide fire suppression system to starve the fire of oxygen. For a moment, it looked like the day might be saved. Unfortunately, lithium-ion batteries have a flair for the dramatic, and once that CO₂ was spent, the fire staged a comeback worthy of a rock band’s final tour. Lithium-ion fires are notorious for their “thermal runaway” chain reaction—one cell overheats, then another, and soon you have a whole deck of cars auditioning for a role in Backdraft 2. Traditional suppression methods? Forget it. They can’t handle a lithium-ion meltdown, and no ship captain wants to risk turning their boat into a massive, floating hot tub with all the water needed to douse these flames. So, after the fire gave a fiery encore, the 22 crew members decided they’d rather be safe than smoky, abandoning ship and hitching a ride on a nearby merchant vessel. Meanwhile, the Morning Midas kept smoldering away, adrift like a half-baked marshmallow in the world’s biggest campfire. Back on dry land, auto execs probably looked at this as the ultimate “fire sale,” but let’s face it—EV sales have been anything but hot lately, and this certainly isn’t the kind of “fire sale” anyone had in mind. No one’s lining up for charred EVs, and this incident is a flaming caution sign that maybe, just maybe, lithium-ion batteries and big blue oceans don’t mix so well. The tale of the Morning Midas is a salty, smoky reminder that while the transition to electric vehicles is full steam ahead, the shipping industry’s fire-fighting playbook is stuck in the past. CO₂ is nice for the average engine room mishap, but it’s no match for battery packs that won’t quit. So here we are: a ship full of EVs set adrift, a new chapter in the saga of moving electric cars around the globe, and a fresh headache for maritime insurers who thought they’d seen it all. But as EV sales flicker with promise and challenges, let’s remember that a literal fire sale is not the answer to slow sales numbers—unless you’re a barbecue joint. The Morning Midas is still out there, a lonely symbol of how quickly the promise of clean transportation can go up in smoke if we don’t rethink how to keep these batteries from lighting up like a Fourth of July show at sea.

Maryland Teen Breaks Into 121 Cars in a Night—Setting a Record Nobody Wanted.  In a one-night automotive crime spree that would have made even the most ambitious Grand Theft Auto players tap out for a coffee break, a 16-year-old Maryland teen allegedly went on a record-breaking window-smashing marathon and managed to break into an eye-popping 121 cars across Laurel, Prince George's County, and Howard County, Maryland. Like some sort of bizarro Easter Bunny, this kid wasn’t hiding eggs but was instead methodically hopping from car to car under cover of night, armed with a stolen vehicle and what police are calling an alarming level of hustle. Along with two accomplices, the teen treated the neighborhood like an all-you-can-steal buffet, snatching everything from keys to credit cards. Surveillance footage captured him and his sidekicks bashing windows with the precision of a pit crew and rummaging through glove boxes with the enthusiasm of a kid let loose in a candy store. But this wasn’t exactly the heist of the century – it was more like the Walmart of car break-ins: grab a cart, load up, move on, rinse and repeat. When police finally caught up with him, they found a treasure trove of car keys, cards, and pilfered items at his home, enough to start a small used car dealership or at least a very sketchy pawn shop. Despite the sheer scale of the escapade, the teen was released just five hours after his arrest because apparently, if it’s your first time breaking into 121 cars in one night, the justice system considers it a warm-up. The Laurel Police Chief was understandably frustrated, saying he wasn’t sure what part of “121 cars in one night” screamed “low-level” to anyone. The very next evening, because apparently the neighborhood can’t catch a break, 17 more car break-ins were reported, though police haven’t confirmed if it was the same window-smashing overachievers or a fresh set of mischief-makers inspired by their new hero. The teen now faces a laundry list of charges, including motor vehicle theft and theft from automobiles, but it’s safe to say he’s also earned a permanent spot in the local legend hall of fame, because breaking into 121 cars in a single night is impressive if wildly illegal and definitely not how you earn your Eagle Scout badge.

Eleanor Mustang Finally Freed: Court Rules She’s Just a Car, Not a Copyright Character.  In a plot twist that would make even Nic Cage drop his car keys in shock, a federal judge has officially put the brakes on the decades-long drama surrounding the “Eleanor” Mustang from Gone in 60 Seconds, declaring that all replicas are now perfectly legal to build and sell without fear of lawyers chasing them like the world’s most persistent traffic cop. For years, Denice Halicki, widow of the original film’s director H.B. Halicki, had been on a legal joyride claiming that Eleanor wasn’t just a Mustang but a living, breathing character with a soul—or at least a grumbling V8 heart—that deserved copyright protection and a lifetime of royalties. That argument was apparently too much even for the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, which threw up its hands and said, “Look, it’s a car,” ruling that Eleanor is a prop, not a character, and therefore not entitled to the sort of IP protection usually reserved for your favorite Saturday morning cartoon characters or brand mascots with catchy jingles. The court used the so-called “Towle Test,” a legal test that sounds more like something you’d do after spilling oil in the garage than a courtroom principle, and determined that Eleanor lacks any consistent personality or distinctive traits beyond looking great in a smoky burnout and making car nerds drool. It didn’t matter how many scenes she had in the movies or how many hearts she broke when she flew across the screen like a grey bullet—she simply didn’t pass the test. This ruling slams the door on years of lawsuits that saw YouTubers and custom builders dragged into court for daring to replicate one of the coolest rides to ever grace the silver screen. It also brings sweet relief to the Shelby Trust and Mustang enthusiasts everywhere, who can now legally build their dream rides without worrying about Eleanor’s ghost jumping out of the trunk with a cease-and-desist letter. So if you’ve been dreaming of an Eleanor of your own, it’s time to dust off that old Fastback, slap on those black stripes, and hit the gas. Just remember: while the law says she’s just a car, to the rest of us she’ll always be the one that got away, the one we’d give up our last tank of premium for, and the one we’d never ghost if she called for a midnight run.

Driver's Fast & Explosive Adventure Ends with a Dud – and Handcuffs.  In a chase that could only be described as a mashup of Grand Theft Auto and Looney Tunes, a 28-year-old Berkeley man turned what should have been a routine traffic stop into a full-blown action sequence by allegedly lobbing a live grenade out of his car window during a high-speed pursuit with the California Highway Patrol through Oakland and Berkeley. The scene started like any other cop chase with flashing lights and an increasingly nervous driver but things took a turn for the ridiculous when the suspect decided to add an actual grenade to the mix. Yes, a real grenade with the pin partially pulled out turning the entire freeway into an impromptu danger according to police. The driver hurled the grenade out of the car as if it was the world’s most dangerous roadside souvenir before peeling off and leaving officers to wonder if they’d stumbled into the opening credits of a new Fast and Furious sequel. A CHP officer not directly involved in the chase bravely retrieved the suspicious bag and found the live grenade inside because apparently the phrase “it’s just a prop” doesn’t apply when you’re dealing with actual explosives. The bomb squad from UC Berkeley’s Explosive Ordnance Disposal team arrived faster than you can say “kaboom” and made sure the grenade didn’t ruin anyone’s lunch break while the suspect meanwhile kept things rolling for a few more blocks like the world’s worst Uber ride eventually turning onto a dead-end street and discovering to his horror that while grenades might clear a crowd, they don’t clear a path out of a cul-de-sac. He ditched the car and tried to run but spoiler alert: he didn’t get far. Officers arrested him without further fireworks and thankfully no one was hurt in this backyard blockbuster. A search of his car and home didn’t turn up any more grenades or stashes of Acme dynamite, but he’s now facing a laundry list of felony charges that reads like a script for a B-movie crime caper complete with possession of a destructive device, transportation of a destructive device, a stolen vehicle, evading police, and resisting arrest. If there’s one silver lining, it’s that the only thing that blew up was his chance at getting away. So, remember kids, if you’re going to be the star of your own action movie maybe skip the live grenade scene because the only thing it’s guaranteed to blow up is your day in court

Photo: An Eleanor Tribute Edition 1968 Ford Mustang sold at Mecum Houston 2022 for $253,000. Credit: Mecum Auctions, Inc.