Quick Shifts

Each week I bring you the top stories in the auto industry along with my commentary or sometimes amusing thoughts about the craziness that goes on in the world of cars.   

• Criminals Attempt Clean Getaway, Forget Rinse Cycle
• When the Fire Truck Becomes the Emergency
• Edge Owner Gets Surprise Delivery: His Wallet from 2013
• Marketplace Mayhem: Classic Car Scam Nets Millions

Criminals Attempt Clean Getaway, Forget Rinse Cycle.  Four criminal masterminds in Colorado proved once again that if you’re going to commit a felony, maybe skip the part where you swing by a car wash during your getaway, especially when you’re driving a stolen white Chevy Silverado with a stolen license plate, but apparently subtlety wasn't part of the plan because after officers in Aurora spotted the suspicious truck and tried to initiate a stop, the suspects hit the gas, triggering a multi-agency chase that eventually led them to a crowded car wash in Denver where, instead of laying low or pulling into a nice, discreet alley like every bad action movie has taught us, they rammed another car to cut in line like a group of impatient felons desperate for a rinse, and in they went, hoping perhaps that a high-powered wax cycle could erase the evidence or their poor life decisions, but to the surprise of no one with a functioning frontal lobe, the car wash was not in fact a secret portal to freedom and the police were waiting right at the other end, blocking the exit like the world’s least forgiving valet service, so the four suspects bailed from the still-dripping truck and took off on foot, slipping and sliding their way into a brief but glorious foot chase that ended with all four in handcuffs and officers discovering a pile of evidence inside the still-wet Silverado, including a driver’s license belonging to someone who definitely wasn't any of them, a bunch of suspected stolen items, and some freshly polished hubcaps, because if you’re going to go down in a blaze of poor decisions, you might as well do it with a spotless exterior and just enough foam left behind to make your arrest look like a badly planned shampoo commercial.

When the Fire Truck Becomes the Emergency.  In Everett, Washington, someone decided that fire trucks aren’t just for emergencies—they’re also for joyrides, preferably at night and preferably through fourteen innocent vehicles. Because why stop at one when you’re behind the wheel of a literal house on wheels? The fire crew was responding to a call and left the truck running, because lights and gear need juice. But someone took that as an open invitation to turn this 40-foot red behemoth into a demolition derby contestant. Police say the truck started its unholy rampage by sideswiping a few parked cars, but like any proper disaster, it escalated quickly. Soon it was bouncing off street signs, mauling mailboxes, and turning once-pristine Chevy pickups into abstract art. Somewhere between the fourth and fourteenth victim, it became clear that the thief wasn’t just bad at driving—they were aggressively anti-alignment and may have confused reverse with plow mode. At least one yellow Camaro is now wearing fire truck paint, and the poor guy scheduled for surgery the next day got to watch his ride get obliterated before breakfast, adding insult to orthopedic injury. Firefighters have now been gently reminded that leaving a giant flaming billboard of municipal value unlocked and idling might not be the best idea. No one was hurt, but the suspect fled on foot, probably because the fire truck couldn’t squeeze through the drive-thru for their victory burger. The city is left with a six-figure repair bill, a stack of insurance claims, and at least one very tired fire chief now drafting a new policy titled “Don’t Leave Your Million-Dollar Ride in Drive.” Meanwhile, the mystery driver is still at large and probably grounded forever by karma—or at least by a very angry fleet manager.

Edge Owner Gets Surprise Delivery: His Wallet from 2013.  In a rare twist where a Ford Edge wasn’t the one losing value but actually returning it, a Minnesota mechanic named Erik was doing routine work on a 2015 Ford Edge with over 150,000 miles on the clock when he removed the air intake box and discovered something that had been quietly hitching a ride for more than a decade—a weathered, dust-covered wallet stuffed between engine components like it had its own parking spot under the hood. Instead of pocketing the contents or chalking it up to another shop oddity, Erik did the unthinkable in today’s world and went full Sherlock, opening the wallet to find a Ford employee ID from 2013, some faded cash, expired lottery tickets, and the Holy Grail of outdoor treasure: $250 in Cabela’s gift cards that were somehow still valid. Rather than swiping the plastic for a new fishing rod, Erik hit Facebook and tracked down the original owner—a retired Ford autoworker named Jim who had lost the wallet while working on the Edge over 11 years ago during final assembly in Oakville, Ontario, and assumed it was long gone. He was stunned when it showed up in his mailbox completely intact, triggering a wave of disbelief, laughs, and probably the best story ever told in a Cabela’s checkout line. It proves that while modern cars may have dozens of hidden compartments and mechanical mysteries, sometimes they also carry a reminder that honest people still exist, that wallets have better mileage than expected, and that even after more than a hundred thousand miles, a Ford Edge can still deliver something valuable home.

Marketplace Mayhem: Classic Car Scam Nets Millions. In what might be Facebook Marketplace’s most expensive game of pretend, two brothers from North Carolina allegedly orchestrated a jaw-dropping $3 million scam by creating an online classic car dealership that was about as real as a unicorn with a VIN number. They used photos of vintage Chevys, Pontiacs, and other dream machines lifted straight from real dealership listings, then set up fake business names and phone numbers to appear legitimate—complete with slick websites and phony shipping companies that gave nervous buyers just enough comfort to wire tens of thousands of dollars for cars that didn’t exist. Instead of receiving a lovingly restored muscle car, buyers got nothing but bounced emails and the haunting echo of their life savings speeding off into cyberspace. Authorities say Valentin Virlizanu and his brother Vasile used at least three shell companies to pose as sellers of rare classics like ’67 Impalas, ’70 GTOs, and minty Camaros, with listings that spanned multiple states and platforms but all traced back to a web of deception originating in tiny Lexington, North Carolina. The operation unraveled thanks to a sting involving law enforcement, federal investigators, and one very confused buyer who realized something wasn’t right when the “transport truck” never showed up with his prized purchase. That led police to Valentin’s doorstep and a $25,000 bond, while Vasile remains on the run and is possibly still trying to peddle ghost cars online. Now the FBI is digging into whether the total damage actually reaches $15 million, with victims spread across the Northeast and Midwest, making this one of the biggest fake car operations in recent memory. It’s a reminder that if someone online offers you a numbers-matching classic at a price that feels like stealing, the only thing getting stolen might be your bank account—because while the photos were high quality, the cars were pure fiction, and in this case, horsepower turned out to be smoke and mirrors.